The Leaving Process

It has been suggested that the exodus from the churches reflects what is happening in many parts of society. People have little time for organisations and do not want to make commitments of any kind. Richter and Francis say that there is some truth in that, but it is certainly not the whole picture. Many people do make commitments and join organisations, and many people have left the churches for quite other reasons.
The process of leaving may happen in many ways just as the processes of joining a church may vary. Some drift away over a period of time without making any announcement about it. Other people make a sudden exit, sometimes making it very public, particularly if they want to make some sort of statement to those who are staying.
There is often a period of transition after leaving the church, a period during which many would return if they were contacted, their greviances or needs heard, and warmth extended to them. Some people find the process involves considerably dislocation. It may take them a considerable time to feel comfortable with life outside the church.

Reasons for Leaving

Richter and Francis identified eight types of reasons for leaving. The following table lists those eight types, and the percentage who chose their main reasons for leaving in each category.
Unfulfilled expectations          22          
Changes and chances          21          
Loss of faith          18          
Changing values          9          
Stage of faith          6
Belonging factors 2          
Childhood upbringing           1          
High cost                    1

Unfulfilled expectations can take many forms. Some people become disillusioned with the churches in general. They experience it as a ‘money-making organisation’ or find it hypocritical in some way or other. Some feel the church has not changed sufficiently in terms of their expectations, while others feel that it has changed too much and they cannot cope with such things as a change in the music.
One of the major areas in which expectations are sometimes unfulfilled are in worship. Others have to do with the levels or quality of pastoral care. For some, the problems lie in the leadership style or in the church’s teachings in areas such as sexual morality.
These reasons for leaving were found proportionately more among older people who left over the age of 20, than those who left prior to it. The most frequent comments had to do with the church failing to connect to the rest of life or people feeling bored with church or not interested in what it had to offer. Over one quarter felt that their concerns were not heard.
Changes and chances include a variety of circumstances in which people find themselves. Sunday employment is one example. The most frequently cited reason, however, was moving home. Patterns that have been disrupted by moving to a new location are not always easily taken up again. Single people, especially, may find the idea of entering a new church full of strangers too daunting. Young people who move to university often find that their new life-styles are not conducive to rising early on Sunday mornings. For others, the break-down of marriage can become a barrier to attendance as people fear what others will think or say. For older people, illness can be the factor. With a change in situation, habits are easily lost.
Loss or reduction in belief is another major factor. This too can take a variety of forms. Some people say later that they never really believed, but gradually came to the conclusion that they could not continue with the inconsistency between their thoughts and their actions.
Richter and Frances identify three types of ‘atheism’. They say that there is the ‘philosophical atheism’ when people come to believe that the Christian faith (or a particular version) of it no longer makes sense to them. There have been a number of feminists, for example, who have left the church because they could no longer accept traditional Christian ideas about God.
Then there are the 'experiential atheists'. Typically these are people who felt ‘let down’ in such a way that they could no longer accept there was a loving and powerful God. Bereavement and suffering may sometimes bring people closer to God; in other times, may lead to a loss of faith. Thirdly, there are ‘transitional atheists’ who come to reject particular types of faith as part of a process of maturation or searching. Some adolescents throw out ‘God’ as they throw out Father Christmas and fairies. While some reject religious faith altogether, others say they continue to be spiritual people and hold spiritual beliefs, even if they reject ‘religion’ as what is presented by a church or churches.
It is quite common, say Richter and Francis, that church leavers report that church seems like ‘another planet’ or a ‘past culture’. The cultural shifts that have occurred in the last four decades have led to changes in values which many have found incompatible with continued involvement in church life. Many Baby Boomers (born between 1945 and 1960) developed a distrust of public organisations and their leaders. Personal experience took priority over organisational involvement and many felt that attending church on a regular basis was just ‘going through the motions’. They were not interested in accepting traditions for the sake of it. Individual choice, and the ability to pick and choose, were important to them. Others who adopted a promiscuous life, or explored different patterns of sexuality, drugs, and other options saw their choices were incompatible with what the churches taught. They could not continue with both.
Baby Busters (born between 1961 and 1981) have continued the quest for personal fulfilment and autonomy. On the other hand, says Richter and Francis, they are less idealistic, more pragmatic than the Baby Boomers. Over-exposure to television has made them sceptical and wary of easy answers. At the same time, there is a hunger to have all their senses satisfied and they have been impatient with traditional and formal styles of worship.
James Fowler has been influential in describing how people move through a series of stages in faith. Richter and Fowler describe the stages in these ways:
1.          Nursed faith - in first four years of life, during which the child learns to trust.
2.          Impressionistic faith - 4-8 years, when faith has to do with powerful symbols and images rather than concepts.
3.          Ordering faith - 8-12 years, in which children can separate reality from fantasy, but continue to reason in very literal and concrete terms.
4.          Conforming faith - through adolescence and beyond. While able to think abstractly, many adolescents are highly influenced by teachers, leaders and their peers. They may hold tenaciously to faith, but have not really begun to analyse it for themselves.
5.          Either-Or faith - from about 18 years of age - in which many individuals ‘stand aside’ and critically reflect on faith. It is no longer sufficient to borrow it from others, but has to be ‘owned’.
6.          Inclusive faith - rarely before the age of 30 - in which individuals become less defensive about beliefs and more open to a range of perspectives on reality. Truth is no longer either-or, but can be both-and.
7.          Universalising faith - reached rarely and usually only later in life, when preoccupation with the self gives way to a sense of mystical unity with all things.
Francis and Richter recognise that this theory has many critics and suggests that it should not be interpreted too rigidly. However, the movement from one stage to another can assist in explaining why some people come to the point of finding a church’s teaching or style of worship to be unsatisfying. Church leaving is sometimes prompted by a mismatch between the general faith-stage level of a person’s church and his or her own faith-stage level. Some find other churches which are more appropriate to their faith-stage level.
A sense of belonging is important in maintaining involvement. People may feel that they are marginal, sometimes because there are few others within the congregation with whom they can identify. They may stand out in the congregation because of their age, gender, racial background or socio-economic background. Teenagers leave because there are few other teenagers. Young families chose not to go because there are few other families. Sometimes, people leave because they feel that their contributions are not valued. They may even have had positions in the church, but as they retire from those positions, they retire from the congregation itself.
Young people often indicated that they wanted to take a more active role in the church. On the other hand, some leave because of the intensity of the involvement. They find a congregation too intrusive and claustrophobic.
Relationship with parents is another factor which influences some people in their relationship with churches. Parents have a very significant role in passing on the faith. Children are most likely to follow their parents in church involvement when parents are committed to their faith, when they make a conscious effort to inspire religious values in their children, and when the relationship between the child and the parents is good (p.77). When there is a lack of parental consensus, the influence is weaker, as it is also when there is emotional distance between the child and the parents. Sometimes leaving church can be a form of rebellion against the parents. Of those who left church prior to 20 years of age, 38 percent affirmed ‘I was made to go to church by my parents and it put me off’. This sentence was affirmed by 15 percent of those who left over the age of 20 years.
Finally, Francis and Richter examine church leaving in terms of the theory which says that people will weigh up the costs and benefits for what they do. In the interviews, a number of people felt that the costs were too high. They were expected to be too involved, to give too much, or they resented the cost in the lives of others such as their spouses or their parents. Others felt that they were getting little in return: little care or little challenge. They were not being stretched or they felt that churches were not meeting their needs. Over half of the sample of those who had left said that the church had not met their needs, and 41% said ‘there was nothing in it for me’.
Francis and Richter note the theory which has developed from the work of Dean Kelley which argues that churches which demand more of people, where the costs of involvement are higher, are more likely to keep people. They explain it by saying that such churches have fewer ‘free-riders’ who are not appreciated and that when costs are higher people value the benefits more. While they find limited evidence to support that theory, they argue that churches which are ‘serious’ about what they are doing are more likely to keep their members.

What can churches do?

Richter and Francis found that 45 percent of their sample were open to the possibility of involvement in the future. Those who were most open were those who had left because of chances and changes in life. Those who left because there were few people of their own age or type were also open to returning. Those unlikely to return include those who had lost their faith, or who had become radically disenchanted with the church seeing it as quite opposed to their own way of life and values.
Richter and Francis make a number of suggestions about how churches might respond to their findings and ‘close the backdoor’. First of all, they recommend that churches allow people to find their own levels of involvement and adopt a ‘centred set’ approach to Christian belonging rather than being too concerned about the boundaries. In a highly mobile society, they suggest that ‘local membership’ might give way to a ‘nationally based’ category of membership, recognising that people may be part of the universal church while they move around.
They draw attention to the need to follow up those who leave, to give people the opportunity to express themselves. Sometimes people want others to note their resentments. At the very least, Richter and Francis argue, it can enhance churches’ understanding of why people leave.
In terms of loss of faith, attention needs to be paid to apologetics, to meet the questions that people are asking about faith. At the same time, people who are losing their faith should continue to be affirmed. Sensitive and adequate pastoral care is an important component.
Cultural change means at least churches explore the diversity of their programs. Not that people should follow or simply endorse the cultures. But it is important to have services based on separate population groups such as 'the Boomers' and 'Busters' and generally provide maximum freedom of choice in activities.
Churches may also pay attention to movements in people's lives: welcoming newcomers, running support groups for parents and activities for the elderly. 'Problems' both in people's lives and in church life must be turned into 'opportunities'.
Churches cannot please everyone - and should not always try to do so. But it is wise to take stock frequently and seek to be responsive. They need to build a community in which people feel they belong, but also a community which is open to newcomers.

Philip Hughes